Graduation was in April, boards were taken in June, and I continued working in labor and delivery while I waited for my licence to be issued by the state. The application for my license was sent to the state. All required documents were collected and forwarded to be added to the application packet. Completed packets were reviewed at a monthly meeting, and approved applicants would be issued a licence. The meeting date came and went. No license. I called the state office and inquired about the status of my license. “Your packet is not complete. You are missing 2 documents.” That was not possible. Which documents? I reviewed the copy of the packet that I held in my hands, it is complete, all documents are here. I copied the missing documents and mailed them registered mail to the board. A month passed, the meeting date came and went, no licence. Another call to the board. “Your packet is not complete. You are missing a document.” What document? I have it in the packet! I drove to Indianapolis with my complete packet in my hands, went to the nursing board office, and asked to see my file. After several minutes, the clerk brought my file to the counter, and as I reviewed the documents I realized several were missing. “Where are the documents that I sent registered mail?” They aren’t here.” The clerk again went to the office, and when she returned several minutes later she held another packet in her hands. I had 2 packets, one as a Registered Nurse, one as a Midwife. Documents had been placed in one of the files as they arrived, but not all were placed into the Midwife file. The next monthly meeting my application was approved. My license arrived in October.

While waiting for my license to arrive I met with Dr. Miller to talk about schedule and marketing. “How would you like to have your own office? I have been thinking about having a satellite office, and with your connections in Harrison County I thought Corydon might work for you,” he suggested. Can someone pinch me? Is this really happening? I never even dreamed of having my own office, especially from the beginning. I drove through Corydon as soon as I left the meeting to see what might be available, and an empty office caught my eye. I took down the number for the owner, and made a plan in my mind to call first thing in the morning. Sleeping that night was difficult, my mind just wouldn’t sleep. How could Dr. Miller take such a chance on me, we still had not established that midwifery would be accepted by the patients in our area, or at the hospital? We had agreed to try this for a year, what would happen if this office was opened, but I failed to make it a success? Was I ready for this?

“I’m calling about the office space you have for lease in Corydon, is it still available?” To my amazement it was still available, and the owner’s daughter was our OB tech at the hospital! I arranged to meet with him that evening to look at the space, and called Dr. Miller to give him the information. He agreed to meet with us as well. I floated through that day on a cloud as my mind whirrled with plans for the space, marketing, and dreams for the future. The 3 of us walked through the space, talking about what worked and what would be needed. The owner was willing to do the needed renovations and we could choose the colors. Costs were agreed to, and we all shook hands as we left. This was really happening!

While waiting for the space to be completed I began working in the Jeffersonville office, and taking call with Dr. Miller to complete the required 40 births I needed to perform under supervision. I was anxious to prove myself, so I worked everyday, and went in for every birth he had. It was tiring, but so exhilerating! Providing prenatal care in the office was amazing. I felt like I was born for this. Most of the patients were Dr. Miller’s patients, but when new patients called to schedule appointments the scheduler would ask if they would like to see the new midwife, and I quickly started to build my own clientelle. I relished in sitting and talking with women about prior births, accomplishments and disappointments, and helping to plan for the next one. The first time moms gave me the opportunity to educate about birth options, and encourage classes and books to help them understand benefits of each option. Gyn patients were my biggest challenge. Normal well-woman exams were pretty routine, but each gyn problem visit brought with it a fear that I hadn’t learned enough in school. Many times I would talk with the patient, then take the information to Dr. Miller to confirm my diagnosis and plan. “Go with your gut,” he would reassure me. “You know more than you give yourself credit for.” And he was right. I made cards for each problem when I consulted with Dr. Miller so I wouldn’t have to present him with the same problem again and appear stupid. And I found that I really did not need to consult him or the cards most of the time, the knowledge was there, I just needed to relax and let it come.

As a nurse and a student midwife I had delivered several babies. As a nurse my role had been to keep the mom calm and instruct her to try to breathe though the urge to push as long as possible, then catch the baby if the doctor didn’t make it in time. As a student midwife, I was able to manage the patients with my preceptor by my side, but always felt that I had to do everything the way my preceptor instructed. But now as a midwife, I could be myself! But who was I? What was my style? How did I want to care for and support my own patients? I met my patients when they arrived at the hospital, reviewed their options with them, helped them to the room, started their IV, drew their labs, attached their monitors, helped them with positions, coached them through contractions, assisted them to the bathroom, and straightened their bed. I could be nurse and midwife! The transition from nurse to midwife was difficult for me. I feared alienating the nurses by asking them to do the tasks that I was so comfortable doing, and appearing to be superior to them. They humored me, always offering to do their job, while I insisted that I could do it, and continued to be both nurse and midwife. Eventually as I became more comfortable in my role as midwife, I came to the realization that we are all a team, each having their own role, and everything works smoothly if each of us perform our role in the process. I came to trust the nurses to support my patients, as well as me, and in turn they supported my methods for managing patients. And while every nurse did not find my methods agreeable, several started to assimilate my practices into their care of other patients as well.

One night while waiting for a birth, one of the nurses started talking about a visit she made to a psychic. I was intrigued. I am a very spiritual person, and I believe there are people that can see into the future, but even though the thought of seeing one had crossed my mind I had never acted on that thought. She said this was a local person she had seen many times, and her predictions were spot on. Several of us questioned her about the experience, and a discussion ensued that ended with her phone number and the decision that Patty and I would make appointments to see her and go together. We met at the hospital and rode together to the home of the psychic, Shoma. We were doubtful that anything would be predicted accurately, but coupled with dinner it was a fun evening out together. We decided that we would sit in on each others reading and take notes so that we would remember what she had predicted later. We did not tell her anything about us that she could use to make her predictions, such as jobs, family, etc. Patty went first, and I jotted down the predictions that were made, primarily that Patty would move two more times in her life, and would live near a body of water. When my turn came Patty took notes. She predicted trouble in my love life, and that a special baby would be born into my life. Did she know what I did? Babies are born into my life everyday! Patty and I chuckled, and we told her that I deliver babies, but she said this won’t be just any baby, this one will be special, very close to my heart. It will change my life. Hmmm, ok. What baby could do that? As we left we amused over the predictions, and had a good laugh about it. Twenty bucks well spent for entertainment. When I got home I sat down at my computer to check my emails. My daughter, Tara, came upstairs and sat down next to me on the bench. “Mommy, I’m pregnant!” Chills went down my spine, a special baby. So many emotions filled me, anger, fear, sadness, worry, excitement. But I remained calm, talked to her about the importance of prenatal care, taking care of herself, giving up cigarettes and alcohol, and promised to make her an appointment with the office in the morning. Then I called Patty, “You’re not going to believe this…”.

The Corydon office opened, and with that my name, along with Dr. Miller’s name, was placed on the marquee outside. I hired my daughter Tara as my receptionist. Tara was to answer the phones, schedule appointments, help with checkin and rooming patients, and general cleaning. We set up the office space, and waited for patients to call. I continued working 2 days a week in the Jeffersonville office, with 2 days to be spent in Corydon. I contacted the local paper, the opening was reported in a story and we took out an ad. News was out, and we were on our way!